Monday, July 31, 2006

Wishes

ok first my serious wishes....My biggest wish is to become financially solvent - not rich mind you - just comfortable enough to be able to know that I can take care of myself and my family. I worry about not having money to pay for my daughter's college - heck I do not even have our own place yet - so this is a big worry. My whole life we have struggled, well mostly after my father passed away. But I remember her working the graveyard shift in factories to keep the mortgage paid - we went through a lot. I didn't marry well either, we have never really been much more than a low income family. I moved out to Las vegas (where I knew only 1 person) in a desperate attempt to better myself - get a career - and that ended up only putting me further in the hole in the long run. Since divorcing my husband 7 years ago we have done nothing but struggle to keep our noses above water - sometimes I wonder if it was worth it. There just has to be a way for a single mom to support her family - without having to work 2 jobs. See I did that before I moved to Vegas - I was really sinking in debt from the divorce - I worked 2 fulltime jobs to keep the bills paid and I still struggled. While doing this my boys ran the streets - I was never home - I was always working -( it is a big fat catch 22 and another long story). I just feel like I have let my family down, my kids should not have suffered the way they did - and I just feel powerless to fix the situation most of the time. It is a vicious cycle - one that I pray i will not have to live with for the rest of my life.

ok my playful wish...since I was a little girl I have always loved art - coloring, drawing, whatever. Well it was always my dream to grow up and work for the Great Walt Disney company. I wanted to be a cartoonist - work in the animation department. I made it as far as moving to Florida - closer to the Disney complex - but of course I got married and went the family route - it just never happened. Ok so you know something different about me - ta da!!

8 comments:

doll~ said...

Cherrie... you did the best you could at the time... dont beat yourself up!!! I often wonder the same things though... and feel bad for my children, but keep reminding myself what I told you. I never dreamed that Id be in this position at my age! The most important thing is for your kids to know is that you totally love them and would die for them, and by the looks of things they know this already! Its totally hard to remember but its the truth for real. I share this wish with you though. :)
ps: I dont think your other wish is beyond achievement either, you are very talented! ;)

beckster said...

you DID NOT let your family down. you have wonderful children, that for the most part, seem well adjusted. ;) and to the second wish... you live in florida NOW!!! do it now!!!!

harleyangel said...

Cherrie, you have not let anyone down. Everyone has got their struggles in this life. You love your children, and that is the foundation that they need to be the best they can in their lives. You have given them that, and it's so much more than alot of kids out there have gotten.

As for the Disney dream - how awesome! I would also love to work for Disney sometimes. After all it's the happiest place on earth!!

Jen said...

Everyone has their life path.
No regrets Cherrie. We're not given manuals on how to make it work, marries, divorces, single, or widowed. The sacrafice of a single mother is sometimes so intense, no one truly can understand. Leaving must have been the hardest, scariest, and lonliest thing ever, I knew thats how I felt when I left
Your children love you, now love yourself, because we sure do!!!!
xoxoxoxo!

Jen

Valerie said...

Cherrie your a wonderful friend and a wonderful Mother...all you gotta do is show your kids you love them...which I see you always doing and talking about. I am sure your kids know that you did not let them down...they are old enough to know you did the best for them at the time. Dont beat yourself up and about ur diney wish you never know it could still come true...your in FLORIDA now and sooo close to it!

Florida Girl said...

wow - you girls sure know how to make a girl feel good - I know my kids all love and respect me - it is my biggest accomplishment in life. I also know that despite the wrong male influences that my boys suffered through - they all have my heart - they learned from the ex - HOW NOT TO BE!! I guess I am just singing the single mom blues - after all we all want to better for our kids - it is still my biggest dream.

Kimmy said...

You are a good mommy and that is what matters more than money.

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