Saturday, July 29, 2006

Dreams

Just before Father's Day this year - I had a profound dream. My father died when I was just 11 years old - that was over 30 years ago. I had been really thinking about Father's in general - I had been looking at everyone's Cards and layouts they had made for their Father's Day gifts. I ended up having two separate but connected dreams that my Dad was still very much alive and well. Now like I said I was very young when he died so my memories of him are kind of juvenile - if you know what I mean. Well in this dream it was if he had never died - he was living here in Florida (he died in Chicago) and we were on a picnic with my grandchildren. This dream was so vivid and detailed - I usually do not remember dreams either - but this was different. A month later I can still replay the dream over in my head - he was in this park playing with my grandkids - they were running and laughing - he was chasing Katelyn trying to tickle her by rubbing his whiskers on her neck. I can picture it clearly - he caught her and she just giggled so hard she snorted. I can tell you what everyone was wearing - it was that detailed. So bittersweet this dream - he spent hours playing with the kids and talking and joking with my daughter Allyson too. In the second dream he got sick (cancer - just like what he died from), I was there for him - holding his hand and telling him that everyone was going to be ok. he was crying - telling me that he did not want to leave us. I held him as he passed away in the dream. I woke up that morning with my pillow soaking wet from crying - I just cried hard for over an hour. In fact I am crying again now just remembering it all. I had not dreamed about my dad since I was a teenager, I have ALWAYS carried his memories in my heart - but not my dreams. He was in my heart the days I had all of my children, the day I married, the day I graduated from High School, etc. - and most poingnantly he was with me the day my Mom passed away just 3 years ago. Dreams are so powerful - it kind of scares me. I think I am all big and bad most of the time - yet this one dream took me down HARD. Thanks for letting me share.

7 comments:

beckster said...

wow cherrie. i thought i had it bad losing a parent at 22. 11! i can't even begin to think about what that was like for you. that had to be rough. rough isn't even the word for it. i am so sorry that you had to experience that at such a young age. but i am happy that you still have that connection with him. as long as there is something, he will always be with you. thanks for sharing this. love ya.

doll~ said...

I cannot imagine losing a parent at such an early age. ;( It was not my intention to make you sad or bring up tearful times... but Im glad you shared with us/me. Getting it out of your system I think is good, when you can share it with those of us who understand and can give you comfort... maybe it will help even when you never thought it could... Hugs...

harleyangel said...

that is a very powerful dream. it's been a while since i have had one of those. I can't imagine losing a parent. Actually one of my worst nightmares has always been losing one...when I was a kid that nightmare would freak me out big time. Thanks for sharing this. Thanks to you ladies I have begun to think about alot of subjects that I'd previously put on hold. hugs to you Cherrie.

Valerie said...

WOW very powerful...thanks so much for sharing this...I could also never imagine of losing a parent but you have to think they are in a great place and one day we will all met them again in a WONDERFUL place!

Kimmy said...

Awww now you got me crying. My grandfather and uncle allen visit me in dreams :) Let's us know they are looking after us still.

Jen said...

unbelievable Cherrie. I had goosebumps and tears reading this.
Thank you for sharing your very personal dreams, I'm sad for you that you have lost him, but ya gotta know he's waiting for you inHeaven and sounds like he's with you here deeply in spirit!
xoxoxo!

Jen

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